In the Black community, we’re familiar at times with going to a family cookout or BBQ and witnessing a fight between the family you didn’t see coming. Imagine two of your uncles, one who is your favorite and the other who gets on your nerves from time to time with his bad jokes, have a squabble. You witness your favorite uncle, who is known for being calm, composed, and collected, reach a breaking point that is long overdue for release. But unfortunately, it breaks forth like an unstoppable dam and is on public display to see. And although you don’t question your favorite uncle’s heart, you mourn the reaction of people who will judge him at that moment and not all the other good he has done towards and for others.
Last night, the 94th Oscars displayed Black excellence in a way that is rarely seen in its purest human form; imperfection. Oscar-nominated for his role in the film “King Richard” Will Smith, the favorite uncle in my head, acted out of character when he hit comedian/actor Chris Rock on stage at the Dolby Theatre. Likewise, the least favorite uncle in my head, Chris Rock, made a disparaging joke about Jada Smith (Wife of Will Smith) when he stated, “G.I. Jane 2” in reference to her bald-head appearance.
The old folks used to say, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Both Will Smith and Chris Rock committed offenses, although one was verbal and the other physical. And though many may say Will was defending his wife’s honor, as Black people, we don’t have the privilege of protecting our family in ways that are acceptable to others who don’t possess our melanin. Henceforth those who watch the family BBQ fight from afar would call the police and have us arrested over a disagreement between two men.
The Los Angeles Times reported that Chris Rock is not pressing assault charges against Will Smith after the globally publicized altercation. And though some wonder why, my guess is that my two uncles recognize that they are indeed still family at the end of the day. Because that’s what we do; we fuss, fight, argue and even throw punches. Then an elder comes along to help our family focus on the task at hand of recognizing the fault of our actions and reconciliation towards the ones we hurt. Therefore when elders Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry made their way over to Will Smith, that is an example of what we do as a family. We’re supposed to help each other when we fall.
The next step is for Will Smith to address the trigger that made his dam break with such uncontrollable force. We never know what people are going through behind closed doors, even if it seems as if they’re on top of the world. We have all fallen short, and I dare not judge Will Smith because I understand having so much weight on your shoulders and losing your cool after keeping it together for so long.
Although it hurts me to my core to have Will Smith receive his first Academy Award marred by the sound and visual of a punch, it is what it is. But what is Black Excellence if it doesn’t come with disappointment, heartache, entrapment, and mistakes along the way? Are we not accepted for the good as well as the bad? Can we not be forgiven for the wrong we have done? Or must we always be pristine, perfect, and without any fault?
In less than a week, I think about the tears we witnessed Supreme Court Nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson shed as Senator Cory Booker affirmed her strong willpower for having to endure the belittlement from Senators who wished to see her fail. And then, last night, we witnessed Will Smith shed tears in his Academy Award acceptance speech for “King Richard” in a heartbreaking manner. Both being a Black man and woman of excellence in its purest form, Hon. Ketanji held herself together, and Will Smith fell apart. So the question I would like to ask once more is, are we willing to accept Black excellence in all forms or only the parts we want or deem credible? Just a little food for thought.
